i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize