I look better un-naked...
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
The struggles of a small town man whore
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
