But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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