so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Randomize
