When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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