Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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