I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
