I am puke
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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