Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
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