Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
