I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
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