Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
