forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
