I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
