idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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