At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
