Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
