If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
