And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
