There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
