I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize