i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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