there's paper in my vomit.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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