I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
