I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
