sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
