I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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