I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
You are a booty call, not a friend.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
