mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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