So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
