Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
