Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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