I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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