Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
