Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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