Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
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