I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
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