school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
