just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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