I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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