that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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