my sisters under your porch take her home
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Floor bacon is actually really good
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
