Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
