Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
