I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
