He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
