just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
