i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
