ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
