I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
We named our party play list daddy issues
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
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This show inspires me to have sex in space
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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