Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
