My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
