Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
