if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
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