we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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